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GENERAL
GENERAL DISCUSSIONS
CHUCK NORRIS
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<blockquote data-quote="Mister Rinzler" data-source="post: 21078" data-attributes="member: 121"><p><span style="color: black">Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">Some kids **** their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can **** his name into concrete.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.</span></p><p><span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"></span><span style="color: black">On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****ing beef.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can't find bigger, better nuts than that.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">Chuck Norris can drown a fish.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black">The phrase, "You are what you eat" cannot be true based on the amount of p.ussy Chuck Norris eats.</span></p><p></p><p>Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water<em> and </em>make it drink.</p><p>Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.</p><p>When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up - he's pushing the Earth down.</p><p>Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.</p><p>There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.</p><p>Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.</p><p>Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.</p><p>Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.</p><p>There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.</p><p>Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.</p><p>There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.</p><p>Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.<em> He </em>decides what time it is.</p><p>Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.</p><p>Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.</p><p>Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.</p><p>Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a<em> Delta Force </em>marathon on Satellite TV.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mister Rinzler, post: 21078, member: 121"] [COLOR=black]Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Some kids **** their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can **** his name into concrete.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. [/COLOR][COLOR=black]On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****ing beef.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can't find bigger, better nuts than that.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Chuck Norris can drown a fish.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]The phrase, "You are what you eat" cannot be true based on the amount of p.ussy Chuck Norris eats.[/COLOR] Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water[I] and [/I]make it drink. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up - he's pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.[I] He [/I]decides what time it is. Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a[I] Delta Force [/I]marathon on Satellite TV. [/QUOTE]
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CHUCK NORRIS
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